Presenting... THE ASSHOLE FILES!!
M40 - 5/1/2008
A Few Words for the "Sani-Freaks"
I find it extremely funny to see this new generation of mothers who feel the need to sanitize the hell out of everything their
kids may touch. Never mind that this new generation of kids will grow up with an almost nonexistent immune system.
Never mind the fact that today's kids seem to be allergic to just about everything. If a toy falls on the floor... whoosh... in
swoops mom with a bottle of some disinfectant that's probably far worse for the kid than anything likely to be found on the
The really funny thing is that these parents are sanitizing ALL THE WRONG THINGS.
Every birthday, Christmas, or any other time those kids are opening gifts, they're exposed to perhaps the worst things in the
world. Yup... those DVD players, dolls, game systems, plush toys, action figures, and everything else (biologically speaking)
are the nastiest stuff on the planet. No... it's nothing to do with the horrors of plastic or any of the other 'green' myths.
The fact is, these items are all assembled by villagers. Those villagers are from Laos, Cambodia, China, Philippines,
Malaysia, Korea, Thailand, Mexico, and a million other places that you wouldn't care to build a summer home. These are
places where malaria, dysentery, yellow fever and yes... plague, are still big issues. These are places where people live
elbow to elbow with both their fellow man and with their livestock. These are places where people literally wallow in animal
Most of these wonderlands of filth, disease and death are centered around rivers. These rivers are the center of everything.
People drink from, eat from, bathe in, and yes... urinate and shit in the same waters that everyone else is using for the same
purpose. Those same villagers then show up at whatever sweatshop they happen to work in, and they assemble things. For
12, 14 or even 16 hours a day, they assemble most of the toys your kids play with, most of the electronic gizmos they use,
and most of the clothes they wear.
All those assembled goods eventually make their way to your local Wal-Mart (and pretty much every other place you shop),
and right into the hands of you and your kids. Parents assume that because these items are wrapped in clear plastic bags,
they must be sterilized.... or at least clean, right? WRONG.
I've traveled to those sweatshops, and I've observed the manufacturing processes first hand. I've watched Play stations,
TV's, toys and all other manner of goods rolling out of buildings that would be condemned here in the states. There's nothing
sterile about it. There's nothing even clean about it. They're just sweaty, grubby factories filled with sweaty, grubby people
who touch most or all of the surfaces on those products. If you're lucky, you might get one that hasn't been coughed or
I have nothing against those people, and I'm not trying to pick on them. If you're planning an email to tell me what a heartless
prick I am for pointing out the conditions in these places, save it. I'm merely pointing out the differences in the standards of
cleanliness worldwide. It's a fact of life, and if you doubt me, go drink a glass of water in Mexico.
If you agree with me, then please keep the following advice in mind. Perhaps the single best use for Lysol and other
disinfectants is a good surface cleaning of the products you buy from our friends overseas!
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