Presenting... THE ASSHOLE FILES!!

Masshole Politicians

M40, Thursday, April 5th, 2007

Yet Another Attempt to Tax the Bill of Rights

Well folks, what do you know... a new piece of Massachusetts Democrat gun legislation is making the rounds. Introduced by Representative James H. Fagan (Democrat-Taunton), the proposal would charge gun owners $25 every time they buy a handgun. Another would charge builders $50 for any construction costing more than $25,000. These fees would be used to promote research into spinal cord injury.

Fagan was quoted as saying, "The logic is that both guns and construction sites cause a large number of spinal cord injuries and that both gun owners and builders tend to be affluent."

I'm not sure what "logic" Fagan is referring to. I'd be hard pressed to come up with anything even remotely logical about his viewpoint.

Here's a statement I just made up that's similarly "logical":

   "Whereas silverware and television sets are leading contributors to obesity, there shall henceforth be a $25 fee imposed on the sale or transfer of all televisions and silverware that will go towards the research of obesity and it's related health issues. Whereas owners of televisions and silverware are affluent, surely they can afford to help combat this disease which they have so obviously caused."

What are the key differences between these two statements? The most obvious difference that thinking individuals will note, is that one of them is entirely unconstitutional and tears at the very fabric of the Bill of Rights. The other is well within the rights of the government to impose.

Another key difference is that one would fund research into something that afflicts a TINY percentage of the population (spinal injury), while the other would fund research into the number one killer of Americans. Obesity is directly responsible for many of the leading causes of death in the US (heart disease, stroke, diabetes, arteriosclerosis, etc etc etc).

Here's another HUGE difference. The first statement was submitted as a serious piece of legislation by a Massachusetts politician who holds a LAW DEGREE. The second one is obviously silly and took me about 5 seconds to think up, and yet... it makes far more sense both practically and legally than the drivel submitted by Mr. Fagan.

I always thought that our representatives in the state house were operating under an oath to protect and defend our constitution and the freedoms it guarantees us. Who knew that they were too fucking stupid to understand even the most basic and fundamental parts of their job?

What's next? Shall we tax religious congregations? How about peace rallies? It strikes me as beyond ludicrous that tripe like this is what passes for "work" in our state house. Where's the outcry from his fellow politicians?

I just thought up another fun little tax we can use to fund research. I assure you, itís just as constitutional and just as rational as Mr. Faganís proposed legislation:

   "Due to the mind numbing nature of the bullshit spewed by Socialist pricks like James H. Fagan, all Democrats should be charged a $250 fee every time they open their fat traps. The fee would go towards research into mental retardation and brain damage. Whereas severe brain trauma can be directly correlated with exposure to mental midgets like Mr. Fagan, it stands to reason that he and others like him should be held to account."

 A final thought... whereas automobiles are BY FAR the leading cause of spinal cord injury, one might think that Mr. Fagan would have latched onto a licensing surcharge for funding. Driving is NOT A RIGHT. This avoids little headaches like constitutionality. Fagan however, has an AGENDA, and he's not going to let a little thing like the constitution stop him.

If you read this Mr. Fagan, I want you to know that sniveling, socialist, lawyer hacks like you make me sick. I also want you to know that I can make sure that your constituency knows it. Far more people see this website than any media outlet you will ever have.


If you feel like contacting representative Fagan -