Presenting... THE ASSHOLE FILES!!

MacHoles...

I've heard about enough from you smarmy, misinformed Mac owners. Yes, all 6 of you are beginning to get on my nerves. So you're too stupid to operate a mouse with more than one button... I really don't need to hear about it.

So you spent 2 or 3 times as much for an inferior product that isn't compatible with anything (hardware or software)... why do you feel the need to tell me about it? I don't want to know. If I felt I needed that kind of incompatibility hassle on a regular basis, there are freeware operating systems out there that fit the bill perfectly.

Let's face it... Mac's are the "Playskool" brand of the computer world. As long as they're not compatible with anything else, there's no way to break them (yup... not even the viruses are compatible). Most of us eventually graduate into the real world though. Soon enough, we want to actually plug shit into our computers. We want software and hardware that suits our individual needs. We want to customize our systems into machines that suit our lifestyles. With all the plug and play software and hardware out there, there are billions of possible combinations, maybe more. How is it then, that Mac owners seem to believe that they're somehow the "unique" ones? Could it be because Mac's come in those unthreatening but ugly Playskool colors and shapes?

For some time I've wished that a bunch of large PC and PC gear manufacturers (Dell, HP, IBM, etc etc) would chip in and launch a series of commercials to counter the insipid bullshit proffered by Mac. It hasn't happened, so here's mine:

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